"Well!" thundered Odysseus, "There you are! How's it going, Mate? Where have you and the blonde woman been? Penelope and I are headed back home. We've had about enough of the magic down here. Need to tramp new paths, dig deeper holes, inhale fresh air on new continents. We lost track of you and the blonde woman. Just could not recognize you amongst the Kiwi's. There were times I needed ol' Sir Lackluster at my side. Your old ability to maintain the middle road, to prevent early commitment, and to comply to all the rules may have avoided some of our indiscretions. But, you seem to have lost those traits. You failed to reel me in. Your muffled timidity disappears. The grey and brown suit jackets became bush green and ocean blue outdoor gear. Your little box of assumptions fell apart. You may have become a little more interesting, but I now question your dependability. And, it is time to go home."
"Not sure about that," said the doctor. "I like it here. Like the people. Like the climate. Like the terrain, and most everything."
"No, no!" roared Odysseus, cheeks flushed and face laden with indignation. "You signed with me for one year. One year! I am finding your stubbornness intolerable." Odysseus regrouped his thoughts and continued, "Sure, you needed an original look at the world. And, yes, you 'expanded those horizons' and 'stepped outside your comfort zone', but it is over. I need you back. Two Id's can not occupy this epic yarn. We need a Superego, and you are the man."
"Not interested, anymore. I like it here."
"What? Consider my history. Been roaming the world since the beginning of Western literature. Had my crisis and climax. Not about to change. You currently struggle through each new chapter. You had been a responsible guy, a father, a boy scout, a man with a schedule. Yes, you were stiff, naive, and provincial. No, we did not expect a complete new man from you. Come on, mate, you need to reconsider."
"Sorry, Odysseus." said the doctor, "It is simply a box of fluffy ducks down here and I like it."
"Oh, sure. Realize," Odysseus continued, "the blonde woman has met characters in New Zealand promising to travel the world with her. They are a bunch of hard cases leading her out into the wop-wops. She needs direction. Poor thing. She wanders from social event to social event smiling like someone on a wine holiday. You will create a Siren if she stays in New Zealand. Get her back home and choc-a-block her days with her friends. Otherwise, she will be up the boohai shooting pukeko's with a longhandled shovel."
"Is that so bad?"
"Bad! You are the one that is the goner. My destiny is fun and glory, not the Director of Respectable Behaviors. This conversation has carked it. Fortunately, I have an ace in my pocket of persuasion. Here, gaze at this picture. She is your grand-daughter."
"What?"
"Yes."
"She is beautiful!"
"Yes." confirmed Odysseus.
"She needs grandparents! Two sets! Grandmothers to hold her. Grandmothers to teach her what it means to belong to something bigger than themselves and to show her what it feels like to be loved deep into her family! She needs grandfathers to help encourage endeavors, repair broken things, and laugh. To tell stories and create dreams! That is it! New Zealand gave me more stories and dreams to pass on! A deeper sense of the connectivity of man! Extended family under the equator! People to make the stories and legends blend together.
"Yes, yes!"
"What's her name?"
"Willa Jane."
"Ahh….brilliant!"
"Well?" queried Odysseus for the final time.
The doctor rose from the dark blue dusty sofa and re-examined his 61 year old carcass in the hall mirror. "Let's go home. New Zealand helped prepare us to be better grandparents. The value of the past year becomes that not anticipated. Odysseus, prepare for the journey…rattle your dags!"